Drugs are a huge problem in our society, but there’s one drug which has become very popular in the 1990s and very few people seem concerned about it. It’s a legal drug, mind you, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t lethal, or at least habit-forming.
No, I’m not talking about nicotine, since I have this funny feeling it probably is lethal, no matter what the tobacco industry would like me to believe. You don’t see the sugar industry denying their connection with cavities, do you?
The drug of choice I’m talking about can be bought over any counter, is the hippest drug this side of ecstasy and affects more people than nicotine could ever hope to. That’s right, everyone, wake up and smell the caffeine.
What follows are the sad tales of two 20-somethings, both of whom have fallen prey to the dreaded caffeine addiction. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Darrin is 24 and he is a caffeine addict. He spoke openly about his problem, in between pounding headaches.
“I’ve been making pretty good money, but I couldn’t figure out where a lot of it was going. Sure, the car repairs were taking out a decent chunk, but there was this portion I just couldn’t account for. Then, one morning, sitting in a café, it hit me.” He could only stop and shake his head. Later, after collecting himself, I found out that for the past two months, Darrin has spent as much money on coffee as he has on rent.
“It’s not like I’m addicted or anything. I haven’t had any for a whole two days. It’s just … I …” I knew the pained expression of a caffeine-withdrawal headache, so I sat patiently and pulled the double iced mocha from his jittery hands. “I just want these #$%* headaches to stop!!”
Ali is 26 and she’s also a caffeine addict. She was also willing to discuss her problem, but only after much prodding and the promise of a new coffee maker.
“I’ve been drinking coffee since I was 15. Initially, I just liked the taste, but then it became something I drank more frequently than water.” Ali fed her addiction by working for numerous coffee establishments both here and on the Mainland. “I became really good at making coffee, so it made sense that I should benefit from my newfound skill.”
I asked her if anyone has expressed concern over how much coffee she drinks. She met my glance with an icy stare. “People have learned the hard way what happens when they prevent me from having my morning cup of coffee.” I wanted to inquire further, but the glare convinced me otherwise. That, and the rather firm grip she had around her café Americana.
Darrin and Ali are just two examples. There are millions of 20-somethings out there counting the minutes until their next cup, fighting the headaches and secretly wishing that someone could help them, somehow, some way. What will it take? Will someone have to bring a class action suit against Juan Valdez himself? Will there have to be legislation blocking Starbucks from entering the Hawaii market as promised? When will the madness end?
Unfortunately, I don’t have the answers, but worry not. I’ve never had a cup of coffee in my life, so I may be able to help, and I’ll start researching now. Well, right after I finish my daily cup of hot chocolate, that is.
You mean there’s caffeine in chocolate??
NO!!!!